Dark Night

It was a dark night.

Alex came out of the board room. He looked dejected, dull and lost, he wasn’t walking but just dragging himself. Every step felt as if there was an unbearable weight on his head. He felt like some power was trying to push him down to the ground. His legs weren’t able to keep him stand properly. He was stumbling. He was walking like a Zombie, pointlessly. His mind was busy in criticizing him. His heart was weighting. He passed his Boss’s car and found his face on the window glass of the car.  There were no clues of handsomeness in his face anymore. Dull, Pale, Tanned, Sun burnt skin, may be because of his extensive travel under the hot sun in the morning till the afternoon on the same day, he thought. He may get rid of that tan but not the thing that kept bothering him all the time.

Everybody makes mistakes, but Alex made many mistakes, wrong decisions. He thought of get consoled by hearing the song of Green Day’s Good Riddance. But, his depression was out of control. No motivational Rock or Rap  song could console him. Despite he loves such music but those songs were making his situation even more worse.

He reached the Bus station meanwhile he passed so many people working, students coming out of their colleges with loads of enthusiasm despite they had spent so much of boring time inside their classrooms. He envied them. He envied their lives. He envied their carefreeness, and thought ‘what’s  wrong with my life?’

He regretted for not being so enthusiastic, carefree at their age and even now.

He sat on the bench with his legs crossed. His semi torn shoe caught his all attention and he kept on starring at it as if he was admiring Lee Cooper shoes. Suddenly, he remembered his love towards Lee Cooper’s shoes. He always wanted to have one of them in his collection (there was no collection exists!)  His thoughts took him to all stages of his life. He started thinking about all possibilities that would have happened to him had he been able to change his past life or may be his birth.

 His half torn shoe made him feel like he was the only guy in this world who could love  shoes even though the shoes were not at all interested in accompanying him. He had been using glue to keep the shoes in shape. Otherwise it would have been a pair or garbage. The surface and the edges of the shoes had became so thick and hard due to over and frequent use of glue. Still Alex wasn’t able to spare money for the  new pair of shoes. Suddenly, he was distracted from his shoes and heard a loud horn of the bus. He moved his head above his shoulder and turned to his right side and found the bus was coming on it’s way. Yes, this is it. The bus had came again to take him back to his place. He forgot about his passion towards cooking, playing guitar and writing. He was struck in drudgery. He got into the bus with difficulty as there was so much of crowd. Just like any other day, he didn’t get any seat to sit. So, he had to stand. After some time he again lost himself in his deep thoughts.

When Alex was jobless, he had so much to do with his career, he used to dream for a better future every time. He used wish and believe that he would reach to the top one day. His career plans were so beautiful and luxurious in his thoughts and dreams. But, what he got into  the reality, it was quite contradictory. He got a job but he never had got the similar feeling that used to get while he was dreaming about his career. Not even close. Initially, he used to enjoy his work. So much of jobless days and dreaming nights made him feel like never go out of professional life. He wanted to grow and build his own image subsequently. He wanted to represent his own company after working and gaining experience. He wanted to spare time, spend quality time in learning new things, good things but, he wasn’t getting any inputs from anyone.

Sham! he thought.

Every time he had given his best outputs. But in return what he got was quite unfair. He wasn’t able to get over the hollowness that took place during the meeting.

He didn’t want to be in his Boss’s attention. He didn’t want to impress anyone. He didn’t want to make money. All he wanted was to learn new things. He wanted to be a working professional. Suddenly, the bus was jerked and again those noisy horns distracted him.

He adjusted himself and trying to stand straight on that crowded bus. Meanwhile some random guy’s elbow touched his ribs harder while he was moving. That random guy apologized but Alex didn’t care. He didn’t even turned his head and trying to stand straight. His head was weighing with all random thoughts and people he met in his life. He was so tired and weak that day. He was having a severe headache due to dehydration and his legs were hardly able to keep him stand properly. He showed his discomfort and irritated with this worst bus experience. He had already had a bad day to remember for the life time and this bus journey had irritated him even more and tested his patience. He wanted to break through the glass of the bus and run away and would never come back.  But, the sudden movement of the bus distracted him from not doing so.

He reached home lately just like everyday. His family welcomes him into the house with love every time despite he comes late. His family is the only thing that he loves the most.

He took a quick shower and had his dinner. He was on his bed lying like a dead body. He didn’t want to share anything with his family members. He was starring at the sealing and again lost in deep thoughts. This time, his thoughts only took him to the evening meeting.

His company had been shut down.

He didn’t want to sleep and didn’t want to wake up earlier next day.

It was a dark night.

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